Month: June 2018

“I may not be the man I want to be; I may not be the man I ought to be; I may not be the man I could be; I may not be the man I truly can be; but praise God, I’m not the man I once was.” Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

For the first month at our new home we observed an interesting phenomenon. Multiple times every day a sparrow would come, sit on our car door, and begin to attack the vehicle’s side mirror. He would flap his wings and scratch at the image he saw. Over and over he would throw himself at the mirror until he was either exhausted or bored of the fight. He would leave, only to return later to fight again. The kids named him King George, choosing that name not because he had royal plumage but because they doubted his sanity.

King George was engaged in a battle that he could not win. He didn’t understand the other bird he saw was simply his reflection. In a sense this same conflict engages me some mornings. As I greet the day, to be a minster of God’s grace, mercy, and truth, I look in the bathroom mirror and battle with the image I see. This person in the mirror, the one with the Albert Einstein hair, has been selfish and hurt people that he cares deeply about. He regularly struggles with sin he thought he spiritually grew beyond. He is at times a hypocrite and double-minded in his faith. He is me when I am at my worst, and I wage war against him.

In this battle I have no winning strategy if I am only looking at my human efforts. Self-love will not win this conflict. Even if I tell myself how wonderful I am I will still see the imperfections that others don’t. Self imposed guilt and condemnation, or willing myself to do better, will not bring victory. Although I may be marginally successful in some small areas I will tend to fall short of all the self-improvement that is needed. Both of these approaches fall outside of my ability or the truth that frames my life. Victory will only come in this battle with the image in the mirror when I see myself from the viewpoint of my Maker.

I am a man who has much to improve on in the flesh, but I am desperately loved and valued by the God who made me. It is both of these viewpoints that allows me to live life in victory. God will push me to sanctify my life like any loving father would. But, my actions do not determine my value in God’s sight, for Jesus took care of the judgment that I rightfully deserve. I am accepted and loved by the God of the universe regardless of the sin that besets the image in the mirror.

I have learned that both of these viewpoints are a gift from God. He allows me to see who I am without Him. He also allows me to sense His love and acceptance, both in areas of weakness and strength. I am learning to not despise the image in the mirror. I am learning to rejoice that I am loved despite what I see, and striving to bring glory to God today by becoming more like Jesus.

 

“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.” Mark 11:23

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

There are things in my life that feel like mountains. Some of them appear as difficult situations and circumstances that life presents to me. Things my body deals with, like disease and physical defects, are mountains at times. There are troubling events in my history that I did not cause or create but were pushed into my life. These mountain-like objects are unwelcome and bring challenges. They make the path of life steep when it could be flat, and rough when it could be smooth. They appear to be immovable.

What do I do when there is an immovable object, a mountain, in my life? I can’t move it, and God hasn’t “thrown it into the sea” at my request. When the mountain stays in my life…I accept it. When I cannot change my circumstances of life I allow my circumstances to change me. I begin to ask myself, “What can I learn from this mountain” rather than wish it were gone. I have no alternative but to let it change me.

This approach may seem unconventional. I can’t deny that the mountain is there. If I do I may begin to question my ability to determine what is real and imaginary in my life. I can’t continue to nurture anger concerning its presence. Bitterness will soon follow. Screaming at it may make me feel better for a moment, but it won’t make it go away (screaming at problems seems to simply encourages me to scream at life). None of these responses will help me deal with my mountains. My only productive option seems to be acceptance: trusting that the God who loves me has allowed this into my life to help mature me. There is no dancing or rejoicing over my mountains, but it is not an enemy.

The Book of Mark states that God could move a mountain in my life. A lack of courage or faith, the presence of sin, or simply not asking God to move it may create a home for something that should be gone. But, if my heart is right and God allows it in my life I have to trust that there may be a purpose to it. God does move mountains. He also allows them to stay put. My goal is to allow Him to grow me and give me peace in His presence regardless of the terrain.