God asked me to talk to a guy in Walmart one evening. I didn’t know him. My fear convinced me it was a crazy idea. “God, that is weird. He doesn’t even know me. I am going to embarrass this man, and me. What do I say to him? Is this even You talking in my head right now?” So, I told God , “no”.
What opportunity did I miss? What spiritual fruit did not bloom in my life? More importantly, what did that man miss out on because I refused to do what God asked of me? Did he endure un-needed hardship and pain? Did he miss out on an encouraging word when he was in a low point in life? Did he suffer because of my disobedience? I “wimped out” and ran from what God asked me to do.
There is no way to capture the moment again and make it right. It is gone. Guilt is before me, that personal acknowledgement of “boy, I messed up”. There appear to be two paths before me, two ways to deal with the guilt of my mistake (otherwise known as sin).
If I own up to it and allow God to transform it through repentance and forgiveness (God can forgive me and help me forgive myself), guilt becomes regret. Regret is that brief reminder, that quick poke, that resurfaces from my past mistakes. But the poke is instructional. When I am considering a poor decision regret says, “Remember, let’s not do this again”. At times, regret can actually bring that sad smile that says, “I was stupid then. I’m glad I’m not that stupid anymore”.
If I try to run away from guilt, pretend it doesn’t exist, shame is produced. Shame is guilt with my name written on it. It becomes my identity. People can’t live contently with shame. It is a dragging weight. Shame is like living in a house of mirrors, always showing my mud-smeared reflection, and never being able to make it clean. My only recourse with shame is to try to immerse myself in pleasure, dull my senses in some way, or make some attempt to ignore or forget it. I may even indulge in more of the guilt-bringing activity, trying to pretend it doesn’t bother me. This provides only a temporary reprieve. Shame will slowly destroy me unless I allow God to transform it into regret.
Learn not to cringe when regret comes into your mind. The Holy Spirit is giving you that poke to keep you from repeating a mistake. Sometimes our enemy will try and remake regret into shame by reminding you of your mistake. Don’t fall for it. Jesus has taken care of it. He is our identity; not shame.
