Failure

Failure is a word that makes me feel sick. When I fail other people are impacted, usually not in a good way. I see parts of my life that are still imperfect, and I am not the shining example of Christ that I desire to be. But, failure has been one of the most powerful tools that God has used to change and mature me. Even so, the pain associated with failure is still difficult to embrace.

I read a scrolling sign outside a bowling alley while returning home from a trip to my son’s school. The sign advertised a youth bumper bowling league. Bumpers are rails or inflated tubes that keep bowling balls from falling into the alley gutters. No matter how poor the bowler any thrown ball will almost always make it to the pins.

We used bumpers sometimes with our kids when they were young until they were more skilled at rolling a bowling ball. They were a good way to introduce them to the fun of the sport without the consequences of a poorly rolled ball. (We are officially done with bumpers. My youngest son, who is eight years old, bowled a 186 this summer on a bumper-less alley).

Is completely removing failure from our kids’ lives healthy? Is it healthy for parents? Is it healthy for me?  I don’t think so. We shelter our kids from the pain of failure; the struggle, embarrassment, disappointment and tears. But aren’t there important things to learn from failing? Rather than take failure out of our children’s’ lives, perhaps we need to change the way we view it. Maybe we need to come to terms with God desiring to work through our failures.

Many years ago I was working in a youth ministry. When I first started I set many good and helpful goals on how I would personally grow and minister to the people around me, how I would help the organization be healthy, and how I would invest in my family. After five years, while sitting in my office one day, I realized that I had failed at accomplishing most of these. I cried. As I sat at my desk, embarrassed and grieved at my realization, I said to my heavenly Father, “I am a failure”. He responded, “Yes you are. And I love you anyway”.

This was a pivotal moment of my faith journey. I learned many practical and spiritual insights through that experience. It helped lay a foundation of grace, forgiveness, and mercy for my spiritual walk, allowing me to lay aside my human effort. God used failure to transform me when I embraced the pain of my own failure and chose to lean on His truth instead.

For some additional information on a Christian perspective of failure follow this link: https://bible.org/seriespage/mark-17-wisdom-deal-failure

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